love is just a game

i don't have room in my life
for anyone else but me
and i've driven away all the people that could help
before they could leave.

I need to find you again.
I need you back.
You're the only one who can silence the voices in my head.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

--ee cummings

"Only your illusions prevent you from seeing that you are --
and have always been --
free."
-Anthony De Mello

the neighbors said she moved away
funny how it rained all day

It still hurts every time.

"does he make you laugh?"
"he doesn't make me cry."
-ocean's eleven

i am terrified.
i just want to believe that everything will be okay.

if you believe hard enough
does that make it true?

at some point, we must all make the choice
between what is right and what is easy.

if the world should stop revolving,
spinning slowly down to die
i'd spend the end with you,
and when the world was through
then one by one the stars would go out
and you and i would simply fly away

I have found myself.
I just hope that it's for good this time.
<3

wednesday is over,
it's over again --
said my goodbyes to the life we'll never spend
together.
i wish it wasn't true
but that's the way it is
that's just the way it is.

I still love you,
but we are both in relationships.
I just need to know how you feel.

Why did you do it?

he's so funny
in his bright red shirt
we were all in love
and we all got hurt

they're only little tears darling, let them spill
and lay your head upon my shoulder
outside my window the world has gone to war
are you the one i've been waiting for?

be patient.
behave.

there is no real me.
only an entity, something illusory.
and though i can hide my cold gaze,
and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours,
and maybe you can even sense that our lifestyles are probably comparable...

i simply am not there.

It's snowing!
Merry Christmas. <3

dear s,

are you happy now?
do you ever think of me?
are you haunted by what we did?
i can't forget it. the ghostof that night is always with me.
i have not seen you since... but i know the day is coming.
i am frightened that we will give ourselves away.
but i am more frightened that you will deny anything happened.
you can run, but you cannot escape it.
"you are forever responsible for what you have tamed."
i only want you to be happy.
just let me know what you need
and i will do it. i will be it.
i am terrified because
i think i love you.
and i have no right to you.

love,
the one you forgot

It was everything that I imagined.

Karma is going to come back and bite me in the ass.
>_>